With a girl for 1 year, we lived togeather fell ';in love';... anyways we split so she could be back with her family so she moved away...
9 months later....
she contacts me and we express that we both still have feelings for each other..we've dated other people and now we've both ended those relationships...
Here's my problem
1.She is thinking of coming back to see me, possibly moving back...
2. Over the time period that we split she unfortunatly got into something that I am very against, don't want to get into details but its not something good.
I already told her that If she doesnt stop she will loose me, she said ok she would stop if it meant loosing me again..
She lied and did it again...
I don't know what to say to her to really get the point across..I don't want to loose her but I feel like I'm beating my head against a wall..
WHAT SHOULD I SAY OR DO????? PLEASE HELPHelp please, advice girl troubles....Very complicated?
Here is the blunt, harsh reality: She is in need of a security blanket. She knows you still have feelings for her and that you want her back and that you will let her come back. Now she has gotten into something you are very much against, promised to stop to hold on to you and lied and did it again. You are trying to see what you can do to get your point across. Here it is: Nothing. That is what you can do to get your point across. The problem is, you are willing to accept her at her worst and she doesn't see anything wrong with what she is doing. She does not understand why you are making such a big deal about it; after all you took her back while she was doing this thing. In other words, what you accept becomes acceptable. That is why you are having a hard time getting the point across. She knows you don't want to lose her and that you will hold on at all costs, and that gives her a free pass to do whatever she pleases because she knows you will be there no matter what. You will have walk away from her to get your point across. If you think you can rescue or fix her, you can't. You have to be honest and ask yourself, ';Is this love? Is this healthy?'; If you truly believe it is, then you have my warped blessing to pursue a relationship with this woman. For the sake of your sanity, please move on and find someone worthy of your attentions; don't settle for a project.Help please, advice girl troubles....Very complicated?
It'd be easier if you said what it was she did.
If she lied and did it again she wasnt that bothered about loosing you.
I'd cut her loose before you get to involved again, I know its different in your situation because you have feelings for her.
Explain how you feel about what shes doing, you havent carried your threat through so its unlikely shes going to listen to you again.
She should of respected how you feel , but really she doesnt HAVE to listen to you.
It sounds like a whole load of hassle you dont need.
Take Care
x
You can get together again, but don't let her move in. I have a feeling she doesn't have a choice like where to go, and she is using you. She knows how you feel, and she's counting on that.
So, go out for dinners, drinks, etc.... see how she behaves in a long run. I think you'll see where you stand in one month time.
I think she has an addiction to drama. You are too OK guy for her in the long run. I think she needs therapy - and you can not be her therapist.
Take care.
If you are very against whatever it is shes doing, then you already know what your answer would be. Follow your gut- which is saying, you don't like what's she's doing. She's lied about it. Stay clear of her. Maybe in time,. she'll get her life straighted out, but for now,.she's on her own.
a wahts up man you tryed help me with my problem which by the way i hope we can be cool friends you can contact me at ernestosolaiza@yahoo.com. Anyways i going thru the exact same **** if it was anything like my relation ship your one lucky guy. I would let her back the very last time but act the same as you were long distant. If she comes test it out but dont get attched rightaway but at he same time be into act like you care sort of like your going out from the begging again.And when you both gainn trust in each other than be happy if not than sadly it was not meant to be ....No what **** that if you like her or love her let her back in Dont let fate take something you always wanted you got to fight for whats yours . But if you dont than still let her as saying you always got a place for her. But let her know this is the last time. if she does it again than you tried to change her but thats the she is than just leave but i belive if you love someone strong enough never give up on it. Thanks again man i broke up my special lady yesterday and your text help me alot i hope mine helps you . But hit me up wen you can we can stoll be bubd all right late And GOOD LUCK BRO.
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