call from school counselor because she wrote a paragraph about wanting to be a pole dancer when she grows up because they hardly wear any clothes and get to wear make up. It breaks my heart she is beautiful and intelligent and witty but recently has been making remarks about how popular she is and how all the boys like her. I am a stay at home mom who trys to teach my kids morals and manners and how to respect others. Her father and I have been seperated for 7 years now and she has a stepfather who works a lot but we have a great relationship. Is this going on because her father lets her hang out with older children or becasue he is having another baby or what ???? I am desperate fpr answers. I know i need to nip this in the bud now... Teen years aren't that far away.Concerned mom needs advice for nine year old little girl who is trying to dress inappropriately today i got a?
You are right. This is serious. Try spending time with only her. Monitor the television very closely. My daughter saw Beyonce's video by accident the other day (I had left the tv on in my room and part of her video was on the Today Show). She fell in love with Beyonce instantly. (The video was inappropriate for a girl my daughter's age). Up until that time she had no idea who Beyonce was. My daughter said she wanted to be like Beyonce and really liked her so much. (That was my fault, not Beyonce's.) Since you cannot shield her from everything, talk with her in her style of conversation and do interesting and enjoyable things with only her. Also, very, very, very important...her dad (or stepdad) needs to spend time with her taking her to restaurants, leaving her a rose in the morning, buying her a good book, taking her to an appropriate movie, sporting event, or bike riding and telling her how wonderful she is. He should be her number one cheerleader. That way she does not have to look for inappropriate attention from males. She will get it from the one who matters most. I am no expert, but I truly believe that is what is missing from little girls' lives who seek that kind of attention. (By the way, if dad or stepdad will not do it, older brother, uncle, or friend, can stand in.) And remember to always pray for your children. She is not lost and there are things that you can do. Hang in there!Concerned mom needs advice for nine year old little girl who is trying to dress inappropriately today i got a?
Its probably a fase. She is probably trying to act cool and stuff, just trying to get ready for teen years. She is gonna have lots of boyfriends one day, and you need to take care of the problem or she can be doing something you dont know about and she might not be supposed to be doing it.
Whoa! I sympathize for you. It's probably the older girls she is hanging out with when she visits her dad and what she sees on t.v. That sucks because of course when we were nine we didn't know pole dancers existed. It's a sign of the changing times. I would say get her involved in church and talk to her and let her know that there are so many better professions that pole dancing. It sounds like she is going off of the glamour illusion of that line of work. Make sure she knows the negatives of living that lifestyle as well. Hope that helps!
Im assuming those are Easter Bunny ears and not Playboy bunny?
First of all, unless you're watching this kind of stuff on television (and you don't sound like you would be) she has to be learning about it from school or her father's home. It sounds like the school is doing their due diligence so I suspect the father. I strongly advise you to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible because little girls shouldn't know about this stuff. They shouldn't be seeing their own bodies sexually at that age.
I would have some long talks with your daughter and find out whose been telling her about this stuff and what's been going on. Be non-confrontational and ask her lots of questions. You could even take her out to lunch on a Saturday without anyone else around and have your little talk. Something just doesn't sound right to you and you should be mindful of that. Also talk to her father and see what he thinks about all this. Good luck.
You sound like you're doing a great job. You're there with her, you're concerned about her, you want for her to have good experiences. I think that's terrific.
You know, she's only nine, kids say all sorts of things that they don't mean, sometimes just to get a reaction or sometimes because they're upset about something else and want your attention. I guess you already know that.
Perhaps you could sit down with her, have a hot chocolate or something and, in a trusting and non-judgemental atmosphere, ask her what's going on with her and what she was thinking when she wrote that stuff. You might be surprised at what she says.
Also, maybe it's worth talking with her father and asking him what she's like and who she's with when she's with him?
It's not so easy being a parent sometimes, give yourself a break and remember to laugh with her as often as you can.
Good luck :-)
Show some damn backbone woman! She is YOUR daughter, you should be able to deal with her. If you haven't raised her to respect you by now then it will only get worse. You dont want her to end up being kidnapped becuase of what she wears now do you?
Give her a choice: She can wear what she wants to and come home to find the ';show alot'; clothes gone. Or she can obey your request and not dress up like a little skank.
I'm not saying that you are a bad mother, but I think she needs a good positive female role model (one thats not her mom) in her life. Maybe a cousin or family friend.
Do you dress her in the morning or does she dress herself and sneak off to school? If she is doing the latter then you might want to donate the ugliest, nerdiest looking sweatshirt and sweatpants to the school and tell the principal if she is dressed like a whore then slap on the alternate uniform. It only takes one time being in our schools ';alternate uniform'; for kids to realize that dressing like a whore is not that cool.
It could be from today's media. Many times she may see girls on t.v. or magazines and view what they are wearing. She may see this as glamerous and pretty and she wants to imitate that. I think you should check with your ex to see what he is letting her read and watch. This may be the problem. Also, it may be the girls at her school who influence her.
introduce her to girls who do it for a living and have them tell her horror stories to change her mind
time to have a long talk about the birds and the bees, and the evil things bad men do. some times children will do the opposite of what their parents tell them, so try to discuss this like a friend and not an all knowing mother, let her think she made the right decision on her own. also remember to lead by example. if your conservative perhaps she will be, if not maybe it would embarrass her if you both went out looking like tramps...... good luck
You need to figure out how she even knows about these things. Unfortunately shows like girls next door are on during the daytime on the weekends. The news shows and talk shows also touch on these subjucts. Sometimes we as parents watch things we don't think are bad like maury and other talk shows but our kids pick things up. Our local 5:00 news actually did a segment on pole dancing!! They even sent one of the achors to a class to learn how. This was on while we were eating dinner!!! You also may want to take a look at her friends. You are going to have to talk to her about it and try not to act like you are mad about it. She probably doesnt even know she was doing anything wrong. You will also have to talk things over with her dad and make sure he is watching out for things she could pick up. You could also try and contact the school counselor. Explain the situation they may be able to help. Good luck.
Perhaps some form of reality check would help. You could take her to the local police station where they could tell her what happens to women who dress provocatively. You could see if they have any young women that would be willing to talk to her about what happens. You could also talk to your pediatrician about it and see what they recommend. You should also closely monitor what she is watching on television so that it's nothing that could plant ideas in her head. Other than that, positive role models are important. Make sure that you and any other women/older girls around her are appropriate and responsible with their appearances. Good luck to you.
How does a girl of the age of nine know about pole dancing? You really need to step back and think about what you did wrong as a parent. It is true that kids today are growing up to fast, it is very disheartening. You need to nip this behavior right now! I think having some counseling....(being able to talk to someone other than you might help her) could help this situation so, you can find the deeper meaning why she wants to aspire to be a pole dancer. It sounds like their is a lack of a father figure in her life your current husband not being around and her real father letting her hang out with older children. Also, lack of discipline she needs to be told that this kinda of behavior is completely unacceptable even for a grown woman. People do not respect pole dancers!
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. Maybe ask someone (proffesional) if there is any kind of thing going where ex drug addicts, working girls etc reformed do any taks with children straying
Wow! It may be something she grow out of ... maybe not. You should get her interested in activites to keep her mind off of that. For instance, dance. She can dance like in pole dancing (so she may be interested), but you get the plus of knowing she will be keeping her clothes on.
maybe her father's current woman is a stripper/ho bag, maybe he has taken her to strip clubs, maybe he allowed her to watch movies about strippers and such
i would talk to the father---if you are not comfortable with that than a court order may be called for to try to get sole custody of your daughter
well from what i can see your daughter wants to wear make up if you look at what she wrote were she says i want to be a pole dancer becuse they hardly wear any clothes and they get to wear make up ! i have a question does she have any of those brats dolls i am 16 and i realy do not like them they are much to hooker like and i personaly think they should be banned becuse of the way these dolls are dressed that mabe why your daughter likes the ideaof becoming a pole dancer ! hope this helps ! God Bless!,Heather
Show her who is the boss and who is the rule maker. Don't try to be her friend at this point be stern and tell her it is inappropriate for a nine year old to dress and act as if she is older. She is only nine she has to go by your rules.
watch what she waychews on t.v.
You need to have a day with her to just talk about it.About if she knows what a pole dancer really does and how it's against things that you believe. If she wants to do that once she is out of the house then she can u won't love her any less but that it is not something that you wan't her to talk about in your house or any other house untill she is 20. and if she does you can spank her or send her to her room or ground her..
I think that you need to talk to her dad and see what he is letting her watch, read, and who she hangs around with when she is with him. Also do NOT let her watch MTV. Even though I'm sure that once she gets older she will not think that way.
Good luck!
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